Instead of a Finance Czar, who’d inevitably be bamboozled by his evil court, I propose a roving band of unruly Finance Cossacks to wreak havoc on the sorry ass of Finance. This could have a sort of Roman Circus effect, reducing the possibility of social disorder by distracting the newly unemployed and homeless, who instead of grumbling about their own problems would be rejoicing about other people’s problems.
These would have to be semi-professional New Reform Cossacks trained to make no ethnic distinctions whatsoever during their rampages. (If they were completely professionalized, however, they’d lose much of their effectiveness. Rampaging and havoc are more art than science and can’t really be routinized or adequately described by written protocols.)
One of the hard things about modern finance, from a Cossack’s point of view, is that it’s so abstract that it’s almost impossible to plunder. Beyond the fact that a lot of finance is bankrupt anyway, it’s not like the Cossacks could carry off billions of dollars worth of tranches or commercial paper and monetize it. They’d have to be salaried, and incented with a system of bounties and bonuses.
Sure, we can expect these Finance Cossacks to take over the executive power sooner or later, the way the mostly-Turkish Mamluk soldier-slaves took over in Egypt. Hopefully they’ll be a little better than our present rulers, but who knows? I say go for it.
February 17, 2009 at 8:52 pm
I just found your comment while attempting to deal with “26,436 comments awaiting moderation.” Geez, you vanish into omphaloskepticism for a couple of years and the spam piles up like dead runaways at a Dick Cheney housewarming party. I’m attempting to find a way to implement mass deletions, i.e. everything at once, to no avail thus far, and am contemplating tossing the offending machine off the roof. Anyhow, as you can tell, my vanishing retirement funds have proved quite the cattle-prod-esque stimulant for the at least temporary rejuvenation of Ethel. Who knows how long it will last? I sure as hell don’t. Nice hearing from you.
February 17, 2009 at 9:02 pm
Welcome back! I’ve missed you!
March 7, 2009 at 12:10 am
[…] “Wreaking havoc on the sorry *ss of finance” Filed under: I want my money back. — Lex @ 7:10 pm What happens when a leftist decides to stop being tactful? For one thing, he becomes pretty freaking funny. John Emerson, at the new Trollblog, explains, for example, that we don’t need a finance czar, we need Finance Cossacks! […]
March 18, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Sign me up.